Becoming “empty nesters” is quite an interesting phenomenon especially when for most of your married life you and your spouse were parents. Like any other segment of someone’s life there is no “how to” guide to adeptly transition from one part of my life to another.

When a couple has similar aspirations and values on how to raise their children beautiful things tend to happen. Oh, I forgot the most important ingredient that they must have in common, it’s LOVE. Un Mitigating love that never wanes to just being parents. To me and my wife that’s always been the easy part.

Fast forward to the day when we both waved goodbye to our youngest and he was off to his freshman year of college. Alas, the empty nesting period in our lives began. There are so many questions that are unanswered when the front door closes behind us and this new phase in our life as individuals and as a couple begin.

There are so many wonderful things that have unfolded over the past 12 months since our youngest left for college. We have recaptured time again. It has given us time to pursue interests and passions that we never had time to explore over the past two decades. That’s the best part.

The scary part though to me can be explained in one word, compatibly. Is my wife and I still compatible alone like we were before we had children? It’s a question that most couples have to explore and hopefully conclude that the answer is a resounding yes. Unfortunately, some couples don’t come to the same conclusion and tend to drift apart.

The answer takes time. It’s something that you just don’t wake up one day and have figured the outcome. Hopefully, love will seep through you and your significant others’s veins and keep your love alive!

I have written in the past how music can be inspiring. I haven’t though taken it one step further and talked about one of the most magical events that we get to experience, live music. It’s definitely one of my favorite things to do. It really doesn’t matter the genre of music, I just like to see live bands in concert.

Sometimes though there is a chance to experience a truly special performance. The Coldplay concert was one of those events. There has been recently so much sorrow and hatred going around in the world. From Orlando, to Dallas, to Nice, to Turkey, to Baton Rouge, the list is sickening. At times you really wonder if there is still love in the world.

Then you get to see Coldplay. The show can only to described by one word….LOVE.
The whole show was a journey of love between the band and the audience and hopefully everyone around the world. There was plenty of confetti, pyrotechnics, and spectacular lighting that is a Coldplay trademark, but this show was much more than that. Chris Martin the lead singer’s actions exuded love and gratitude to his fans. He successfully took all of the cynicism and bewilderment away from the audience for 2 wonderful hours. It kind of reminded me of show that the Beatles might of choreographed in the psychedelic decade of the 1960s. During the Vietnamese war they only spoke of love not hate. Coldplay did the same.

If you have a chance go see them. What a treat!

When does a person stop growing? Is it when puberty ends or is at some other age?

I stopped growing as measured by my height at age 20. That was though just the beginning of my adult life. I couldn’t be done growing as person. Or was I? In most all of us the growth is just beginning.

We all grow at different speeds and at different times in our lives. I look at all of people who I have been exposed to in my life and they are on such different paths of personal growth. Some of them have been on the same trajectory throughout their entire lives. They continue to find ways of growing personally. I have known very few people like that. I think they are truly blessed to have that quality.

Most people tend to “stair step” growth in their lives. They are generally positive loving people that just like the status quo. Then some event or something or someone pushes them along to a new level of personal growth. I am one of these kind of people as are most of my friends.

There is a third group of people that I have observed and they are the ones who are “energy zappers” and are no growers. I am not going to spend anytime writing about these people because I think we all know examples of them in our lives. They don’t grow, they are no fun to be around. Enough said.

It’s fun to observe a friend or a loved one take a leap of personal growth. If you take a second to look at the people around you in your life I bet you can pick them out very quickly. Those are the people I want to surround myself with and be inspired by their growth to help me to become a better person.

Kids will be kids. It doesn’t matter if they are rich or poor, they are still just kids. I got to take some city kids fishing last week overnight for two days. There was 9 kids, 5 girls and 4 boys between the ages of 11 and 13. Before we left I wondered if they would act differently than my nephew and his friends who were the same age.

They were no different. They loved playing hide and seek, going swimming, and just having fun. Certainly, at home their daily lives are quite different than my nephew’s. If however you peel away all economic disparity between them for these two days in the country theses kids were as care free and fun as any other group of kids that I have ever been around.

It’s unfortunate back home their lives are so different than my nephew’s life. They are starting at such a disadvantage it’s not even a fair fight. It’s like they are running a marathon and their opponent, (middle and upper class kids), start the race at the 25 mile marker with one mile to go and they have to run the entire 26 mile marathon. It’s just not fair.

Whatever we the privileged ones can help enabling these kids to just be kids, the better off we all will be.

How often in your life has there been a song that you just can’t get out of your head? There is something about it that just “clicks”? It doesn’t matter how often you hear it because it never gets old. It doesn’t happen often but when it does it’s a beautiful thing that can “come out of the blue”.

I was listening to U2s most recent album and a song called “Iris” struck me that way. I just put my headphones on and hit the “repeat song” button on my iPad and listened to it again, again, and again. It’s like a drug. I can’t hear it enough. The structure of the song is beautiful as well as the message it is trying to convey. To me, it’s all a song could be.

Relationships are sometimes hard to figure. They ebb and flow like the ocean tides. They are always changing. Status quo is possible for some length of time but not forever. Even couples who are together for a long time still each have unique dreams and goals. The individual growth in all us manifests itself at different speeds and at different times. Hopefully, as we grow older and wiser we are all trying to touch more and more people around us in a positive way. To me it gives life meaning and substance.

Change in inevitable.

That is not to say that change is easy especially if you are happy with the status quo. If you want to keep your relationship moving forward in a positive direction free your mate and let them be. You and your significant other will be better because of it.

I love to drive fast. It’s fun to zip by cars like they are standing still. It’s a “power trip”.

Sometimes however driving slow has real merit. The other day I decided to take an alternative route home besides taking the highway. My drive home was on one of my favorite windy tree lined streets that was conducive to driving slow. It was so delightful to drive a speed that allowed me to appreciate every curve and nuance of the road.

More importantly, my senses were surprisingly awakened by my surroundings. The air was filled with the smells of spring and I could see various summer flowers that have just begun to burst on the scene. It was glorious.

Try driving slow sometimes. You might be pleasantly surprised what you see along the way.

Passion, it’s one of god’s greatest gifts to being human. It separates us from other species in the animal kingdom. What does passion feel like? That’s a very personal question because people feel passion in their own unique way. Some of us gush with passion while others have trouble feeling passionate about anything.

To me, passion is kind of a deep internal euphoric feeling about some activity, or someone of which I can’t get enough. It swells up in me. Gardening and fly fishing give me that feeling. I hope that everyone can find something that gives them that emotion. It’s special but certainly not unattainable for everyone.

Over the 30 years of my marriage to the same woman I have been asked more times than I can count on one hand what is your secret? I always answer the question the same way with a one word answer, passion. Passion helps bridge the gap when things aren’t going so well in our relationship. It’s the glue that keeps us moving forward. I’m very lucky to have that connection with my wife. I have told my kids that passion would be a great start when choosing a significant other in their lives. I hope they take my advice before they “tie the knot”.

I know it’s hard to find but when you discover that connection with another person never take it for granted or dismiss it too quickly. You might never find it again.