How many times in your life has someone told you that something was going to be hard? Quite a few I bet. As a child, probably one of the first times I was told something was hard could have been learning to ride a bike. I can remember my dad telling me that it’s not easy to learn to ride a bike right away. I really didn’t know what he meant until I continually fell off my bike and skinned my knee. That was not fun. I started getting a glimpse of what the word “hard” meant.

Then, as a child, the next challenge for many of us, including myself, was school. There were so many facets that made school hard. It started with trying to make good grades. That was always a “thing” in my house growing up. Getting good grades was very important. Sometimes, it was too important because there were some classes, like Geometry, that I just didn’t get. It didn’t matter to my parents though because I was supposed to get an “A” no matter how hard the class was for me to comprehend. That wasn’t the best way to help a child’s self-esteem.

Another facet of something that can be hard growing up was making friends. Wow, can that be hard for some kids. It was never hard for me, but I bet for a shy kid, making friends was very gut-wrenching. I bet they got a real appreciation for the word “hard” in a hurry. I can’t imagine how hard that might have been for them.

As we get older, the depth of the consequences of successes and failures becomes more important, so the word “hard” takes on more meaning as well. In most people’s lives, high school is more important and harder than middle school, college is more important and harder than high school, and so on. Each of those milestones is different and important, but the word “hard” really hit home when I started my first job out of college. People who were already in the workforce would tell me that work was hard and very different from school. It took me a while to understand what they meant. I guess for me, I began to understand how hard work was going to be when I realized that this was it. There was no next step. I would be working in some type of job for many years to come. That was so hard to comprehend, that I would be working day in and day out for years. Some of the innocence of my youth began to be chipped away. Unbeknownst to me at that time, it was only the beginning.

There can also be nuances in the definition of the word “hard” that took me a long time to understand. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I was so judgmental of people and the whole world itself. “Gray” wasn’t part of my vocabulary; everything was black and white. Eventually, bigger things began happening in my life and the nuances of the word “hard” began to unfold. The first was marriage. I got married at a young age and people would tell us how hard marriage can be. I really never understood what they meant until I had been married for a while, and I don’t completely agree. Marriage is hard only if you value your relationship as the most important thing in your life. It’s not very hard if you put in the same amount of work into it as, let’s say, staying or trying to excel in your career. There is a nuance to the word “hard,” and it depends on one’s values and priorities. Marriage is hard because it’s important to me, but to other people, maybe not so much. I used to be so judgmental on this issue, but not anymore. I have learned that everyone goes about living their own life, and they are living by a different set of priorities than me. That doesn’t make them a bad person.

Now, being in my 60s, I have experienced many difficult times in my life. However, nothing prepared me for losing a parent and my best friend. My wife, too, had already lost both of her parents before I lost my dad, and I was there to console her and provide support. I would tell her how sorry I felt and how “hard” it must be to lose a parent. I never truly understood the meaning of loss until it happened to me. That’s just the way life goes because until something like that happens to you, it’s hard to comprehend how it truly feels.

Ok enough talk about sadness. There is a silver lining when describing the word “hard”. Sayings with the word “hard” in it have been told to me and it has been written about time and time again by people much wiser than myself.

Here are some sayings written by some very famous people who have used the word “hard” to guide them through their lives.

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.” — Pele, Brazilian soccer player

You can’t get there by bus, only by hard work and risk and by not quite knowing what you’re doing. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover will be yourself.” — Alan Alda, actor

If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” — Steve Jobs, co-Founder of Apple Inc.

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” — Walt Disney, founder of Walt Disney World

I hope you enjoy reading my blogs as much as I sure enjoy writing them. Have a great holiday season and a happy and healthy 2024!

Cheers!