For one reason or another, I have stayed very close to some of my kids’ friends. I guess they look at me as a mentor in some aspects of their lives. However, the surprising thing is that they have become mentors to me too. That’s a good thing because everyone needs mentors.

Let me elaborate. Mentors come in different shapes and sizes at different times in one’s life. As a child, the first mentor I can remember was in my sophomore year of high school. Dr. Bill Heyde didn’t just teach social studies; he was incredibly passionate about all of the students’ lives he touched. He invited us to come over to his house in the summertime and talk about what was going on in the world. He would always chaperone us on various field trips and call us all “great Americans.” He taught me to be a positive person and always see the best in people. What a great way to go through life!

Fast forward to when I was 24 years old and about to start my first job out of college. I was getting married later that year and had no idea what was expected of me as a new stock broker. So, I decided to sit in the office of one of the biggest producers every morning and just listen to how he talked to his clients. This experience was invaluable. Mort became my mentor at work. He would talk to me about the attributes needed to be successful, not just at work but also in life. (On a different note, one of the biggest negatives resulting from COVID is the lack of time new employees get to just listen and be mentored by seasoned professionals in the office.) Mort was part of my life for over two decades, and I am so grateful for the time we spent together. As his career wound down, he would call me and ask questions on different subjects. In a small way, I was able to be his mentor. Mentorships can surely go both ways.

The first time I had the opportunity to mentor someone at work was purely by luck. I was 29 years old and my career was starting to take off, so Charlie, my office manager at the time, asked if I would join him on a recruiting trip to the University of Texas at Austin. I agreed, and we went to Austin to interview prospective job candidates from the business school. Since I had no experience with interviewing, my questions were mostly focused on why the candidates wanted to be financial advisors.

One candidate stood out from the rest, and eventually Charlie offered him a job in my office. I always tell people that I stopped interviewing potential employees after Charlie hired Scot because no other candidate could have done better than Scot. I was “batting a thousand” with hiring Scot, so I figured I should quit while I was ahead!

Scot would come sit in my office, and I became his mentor, just like Mort was to me. It’s a role that I cherish to this day because, in addition to being his mentor, we have become great friends. Fast forward to today, besides being one of the most successful financial advisors in the country (way surpassing me!), he has become my mentor in so many aspects of my life. Mentorships can certainly go both ways.

In many families, a parent, sibling, or close relative can be an important mentor in a young person’s life. Probably my father was the closest thing to being a mentor while I was growing up, because he taught me that working hard and always striving to do your best are cornerstones to a successful career. Yet, I wouldn’t call my dad a mentor. In fact, since I was the oldest child in my family, I have been looked upon as the most responsible, thus at times a mentor to my siblings, especially my brother. There have been times in his life when he has needed advice, and I have been the one he has turned to. Recently, though, the roles have reversed; now I go to him for advice, and he sometimes gives me guidance when he thinks I’m going astray. What a nice change! Mentorships can certainly go both ways.

I began this post by stating that I’m still very close to some of my kids’ friends even as adults. Am I some of their mentors? Maybe a little. I think to be a mentor to your kids’ friends, you have to be looked upon in a positive light by your own children first. There are many fine attributes I have taken from my parents, but as I became a father myself, I wanted to be a better dad than my father was to me. Mentoring my kids, or at least being a role model to the best of my ability, was and still is at the top of the list. Obviously, this is something I could never do by myself. In our home, successfully parenting our kids has been a collaborative effort between me and my wife. In fact, there are so many areas that my wife has mentored me on how to be a better parent and also just a better person as we go through our journey of life together. Thanks, honey!

There are always ways to grow as a person, no matter how old you are. So many people, including my kids’ friends, mentor me in particular areas of my life that I didn’t think were possible. I would like to think that I am open enough to use their guidance to my benefit. Sometimes, it isn’t very easy to do because, as someone older, I often feel like I know better. But that’s wrong! I should know better because mentorships go both ways.