Going to a therapist can be a tricky experience. There are so many variables that can make or break the relationship. Besides the obvious things like the age, or sex of the person who you are about to divulge your inner most secrets, more importantly there has to be a means to the end. In other words, what is your purpose in going to see a therapist? I believe just to go to talk to someone about your problems is kinda lame. Ask yourself before you start, how will this time talking to someone improve my life?

In 2007 I was on the top of the world. My career was flourishing. I was making more money than I ever had before and my wife and my kids were all doing great. I felt invincible.

Then beginning in 2008 things began to change in a hurry. A series of cataclysmic events in our country began a death spiral of economies around the world. My career as well as my self worth came tumbling down in a very short period of time. I remember that there were times during the day when I was not able to catch my breath. I thought maybe I was having a heart attack. I went to my doctor and after going through a series of tests he told me that my issues weren’t physical, they were mental. I was having panic attacks. He prescribed an anti-depressant called Zoloft that made me feel like a zombie so I had to find another solution. My wife found the solution with a therapist named Victor.

I had never been to a therapist before because I never thought I needed one. I always felt it showed weakness. Boy was I wrong. From 2008 to 2018 I met with Victor in his small cozy office. The lighting was always dim and I would sink into the worn big leather couch and Victor would sit in a weathered upholstered chair right in front of me. We came from completely different backgrounds but it didn’t matter. After I told him about my situation he laid out a game plan starting with meditation and then it moved on to various mental exercises that taught me be to be more present and appreciate my current situation no matter how dyer I thought it to be. His tone was sometimes authoritative but always resolute and compassionate. Almost every time we were finished I felt he gave me something to work on to improve my life. He understood the demons in my head and gave me a roadmap to find more inner peace.

Fast forward to today. It’s been 5 months since my best friend passed away and I have been struggling to get my life back on the “rails”. I knew Victor had retired but I thought it couldn’t hurt to reach out to him again and see if he would meet with me. He said, “Of course”. We talked for 90 minutes and even though we hadn’t seen each other for 5 years we just picked up from where we left off. He explained how to use my friend’s energy that I still felt as a guiding light in a positive way. He gave me a map to feel better and he explained to me why it had been so hard. We agreed to get together monthly for a while until I felt there wasn’t a need. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of talking to Victor from now on.

Wow what a long blog. I’m sorry it was so long. The reason I wrote this in the first place was not to go into so much detail about my journey but rather to help people understand how to choose a therapist. If you are talking with someone now and they aren’t giving you tangible things to make you feel better dump them. They should construct a purposeful path for you to try find inner peace. If you find that person hold on to them because they are worth their weight in gold. Thank you Victor.