What are the qualities of a perfect toilet? Good question—it’s definitely in the eyes of the beholder. What are the biggest factors that determine one’s favorite toilet? Is it an age thing, a comfort thing, or do a number of factors matter to most people?

Before I dwell on this most important subject let me give you a little history of the flush toilet. According to an article published by the British Association of Urological Surgeons they write, “It is a widely-held belief that Thomas Crapper designed the first flush toilet in the 1860s. It was actually 300 years earlier, during the 16th century, that Europe discovered modern sanitation. The credit for inventing the flush toilet goes to Sir John Harrington, godson of Elizabeth I, who invented a water closet with a raised cistern and a small downpipe through which water ran to flush the waste in 1592. He built one for himself and one for his godmother; sadly, his invention was ignored for almost 200 years: it was was not until 1775 that Alexander Cummings, a watchmaker, developed the S-shaped pipe under the toilet basin to keep out the foul odours.” Thanks so much Sir Harrington!

Enough of the history lesson; that’s not the purpose of this post. What makes a “perfect toilet”? I have never polled my friends on the subject, but when you bring it up, I find that people have some pretty interesting opinions on it.

To Be Rinsed or Not to Be Rinsed?

Last year, our family took a trip to Japan, which was truly incredible. The people were so polite, and the cities were so clean you could eat off the streets. Even their toilets were pristine. The one common thread there was that virtually all of their toilets had a “rinse and fan dry” feature before flushing. It was pretty interesting because I wasn’t used to that sensation, having been just a “wiper” for over 60 years. I bet you’ve heard the saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Well, that’s how I felt about the Toto toilet! It just wasn’t my “jam.” In fact, in our hotel, you could choose to skip the “rinse and fan dry” feature, which I opted to do. However, I can understand why so many people like it because it seems less barbaric than the old fashioned way.

Fast forward to my humble abode at home where we now have 3 different types of toilets. Each of them have some unique qualities that cover the full spectrum of commodes.

The Chic One:

Five years ago, we decided to give our kitchen and guest bathroom a “facelift.” Our tastes lean toward the contemporary side, so our decorator provided us with some choices for the guest bathroom. The first time I used the chic new design, I noticed that the seat was rather narrow and not very comfortable. It was also a bit too high for me, and it has two flush settings depending on how much water you need to use. Both settings use significantly less water, which helps the environment. However, unfortunately, that could be a big problem. The water flow after I flushed—let’s just say it isn’t adequate. It’s not just a “one and done” power flush cycle; I had to flush it at least once or twice more. How annoying is that?

The Toto Toilet:

What an amazing invention, the Toto toilet. It’s comfortable, it’s got a heated seat, it’s got several different rinse cycles it’s amazing. Like I said before I just can’t get my head around the whole rinse thing. There is just something about it that makes me feel a little violated. It’s not my favorite.

The Basement Toilet:

We have a basement bathroom that, aside from new paint and a new light fixture, has not been changed in 25 years. The brand of this toilet is American Standard. American Standard originated in 1929 and has gone through various stages of change. Through all of that though, they are still one of the largest sellers of toilets in the country. We have their standard toilet in our very unassuming yet comfortable basement bathroom. Since it is 25 years old, it has no water flow restrictions, making it a one-flush wonder! It’s the perfect height from the floor, and the seat is wide and comfortable. That’s my winner!

The simple things in life have become more important to me as I’ve grown older. I don’t know if I’m trying to hold on to the past or if I’m just too stubborn to accept change. Either way, I do know how much everyone likes their own special toilet for various reasons. So next time you’re at a party and need an icebreaker to start a conversation with someone, I bet asking about their toilet preferences will be a good way to start!

Cheers!

I have written so many “heavy posts” that I decided to write a “lighter” one on a subject I have been thinking about for quite some time. As you younger folks will see, things that bothered you in your 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s—especially when you become a senior—get under your skin a little bit more. Fortunately, at 63, I can complain about them more because I really don’t care what people think. Just ask my family!

So here is a list my top 10 pet peeves:

1. Wasting good food at home and having to throw it out. Hate it so much.
2. My car telling me every time I turn it on that I need service or an oil change and not being able to turn the message off.
3. Soup that isn’t hot. Warm isn’t good enough anymore.
4. Waiting in line forever to get something to eat at a Blues hockey game.
5. Playing behind slow golfers and then not letting us “play through”.
6. Not being able to wash my hands after I workout at a gym.
7. Every time I pickup food to go or buy food at a sporting event, they ask for a tip on the screen before I complete the transaction. When did that become a thing?
8. The cost of taking my dogs to the vet. I always feel that I’m getting “bent over” when I walk in their office.
9. My car’s automatic braking system when it stops me while I’m backing out of my garage going less than one mile an hour.
10. Drug ads on tv. They drive me crazy. How are they even legal?

That’s my list. I hope some of them resonate with you or make you chuckle. Because we all need some levity in the crazy world we live in today..

I know that our country has many deep-rooted problems that, in many ways, are the severest that I have seen over my 60 or so years living in America. However, to others, the “American Dream” is still a real thing which they can turn from just a dream into reality. This is the story of one of those people.

But first a little history lesson before I tell you Herman’s story. After WWII, there was a huge influx of immigrants from all over the world coming to America to start a better life. It was assumed that as long as you were willing to work hard, it didn’t matter how much money you had or the level of education you had achieved – the “American Dream” could become a reality. However, immigrating into the United States today isn’t like it was in the 1950s. We found out that it is really hard to do. Moving fast forward to today, opportunities for immigrants or any people with little means to achieve the “American dream” has become just that – an unrealistic fantasy. However, with lots of hard work, perseverance, and a little luck, for some, it can still come true.

Back in 2016, my wife, the co-founder of a not-for-profit organization, needed some web design and overall technology help. She has always been a very inclusive person and read resumes from people all over the globe without discrimination. She simply chose the one that seemed most qualified after corresponding with them, and then they could work remotely, regardless of where they lived.

One of the respondents that my wife really liked was a man named Herman, who lived in a small rural town in Uganda called Lugazi. Lugazi, Uganda? Yes, Lugazi, Uganda.

They began a dialogue on the things that she needed help with, and Herman from Uganda had all of the answers. Unbeknownst to my wife at the time, Herman had to walk outside his mother’s home and stand in the middle of a dirt road to make the high speed connection reception possible.

As time went on, Herman became an integral part of the organization and expressed his interest in visiting the United States. In fact, he shared with my wife that it had always been a dream of his, as well as many other people in his country, to visit the US. He believed that the opportunities available in America far outweighed his chances for advancement in his home country.

My wife and Herman started devising a plan to bring Herman to the United States. Herman had already searched the Catholic Volunteer Network for a one-year faith-based volunteer opportunity and found an opening in Cincinnati, Ohio, that lasted for 12 months. He applied and received a B1/B2 visa, which allows foreigners to stay in America for activities such as tourism, visiting family members, and volunteering at not-for-profit organizations. However, there was one catch: Herman had never flown on a plane or left his hometown, let alone the country. Pretty scary stuff.

My wife told me about Herman and wanted to help him come to America so we arranged to buy him a plane ticket that would send him from Uganda, to Ethiopia, to Dublin, to Chicago and then finally to Cincinnati. It took him 26 hours. Quite a first time trip!

The day he was leaving from home, we told him that everything was in order and advised him to arrive at the airport plenty early because you never know what things could happen that could potentially hinder him from boarding the plane. Fortunately, he followed our advice because, since he was returning on a different airline, Ethiopian Airlines detained him as he couldn’t provide proof of booking a return flight. Luckily, just before they were going to close the doors without him, he found an email from me that showed his returning flight. As a result, they allowed him to board the plane.

Several months later, I’ll never forget my first impression the first time we met during the Thanksgiving holiday in St. Louis, Missouri. There was a rather shy and humble, intelligent man who had made the bold decision to fly halfway around the world in an attempt to improve his life and be a part of something that improved other people’s lives too. On the night of his arrival, we took him to an Italian restaurant where he shared stories about the stark contrast between our lives here and what he was accustomed to back home. It was so enlightening to get a glimpse of how different our daily lives were, yet we could connect and become friends in such a short amount of time.

The first place he lived in Cincinnati was with a group of volunteers who were also part of some international volunteer programs and began to get acclimated to his new surroundings. He thoroughly enjoyed his work there, but there was one obstacle: the program was only for a year. Despite this, Herman was determined to make America his permanent home and never return permanently to Uganda. However, as we soon discovered, achieving this was far from easy.

There were numerous hurdles that Herman had to overcome to stay in America, too many to list. The first one was probably the most harrowing. After Herman expressed his desire to stay in America, we discovered that the only viable option was for him to enroll in a university. Since he had always dreamed of getting a college degree, it was a perfect fit. However, before he could do that, he had to complete his internship program by flying out of the country and obtaining the necessary approval from the United States embassy in Uganda for his educational visa, allowing him to return to the US. Fortunately, this process went smoothly, and Herman successfully enrolled in a small community college in Cincinnati, with a focus on completing some computer science courses and then transferring to a small university in Cincinnati to pursue a degree in software engineering. We learned that as long as Herman remained enrolled in school, he would be able to stay in the country.

Even though we covered his tuition fees, Herman still had to find a way to finance his room and board expenses. To this day, we aren’t sure are not sure exactly how he managed to do it, but he did. He lived with a host family for a couple of years and also started working on campus. Unfortunately, due to his status as a foreign student, he was not permitted to seek employment off-campus. I’m not sure why this restriction exists, but it is indeed the law. How dumb is that?

Everything was going well in school, but in his eyes, his greatest achievement came in 2021 when Herman successfully passed his driver’s license test and was gifted an 2009 Chevy Saturn. He was incredibly thrilled and had never even considered the idea of owning a car before, as nobody in his family back in Uganda had ever owned one.

He began to excel in school and set a goal to graduate in 2023. However, some of the required classes for his degree were only offered once a year, which extended his graduation date by two semesters. This also meant that his graduation timeline would be prolonged by a year, but we had only agreed to cover his tuition for four years. We informed him that he would need to find a way to finance his final year of education. And guess what? He did. The US government offered a program for non-US citizens that allowed them to work off-campus in economic hardship situations. Herman needed us to provide a letter confirming that we would cover his tuition if he was unable to find a job, which he then submitted along with his application. To our delight, the government approved his application! Herman was now able to complete his degree by the spring of 2024.

That brings us to the present day. Just a few weeks ago, Herman graduated with a bachelor’s degree in a computer science related major. What an accomplishment. He didn’t have time to celebrate because he needed a job right away and wasted no time in applying to a marketing company. This particular company was in need of a software engineer to ensure the smooth operation of their website. In addition to his resume, they requested a referral from someone who could vouch for Herman’s abilities. Luckily, this was a simple task as my wife promptly picked up the phone and gave him a glowing recommendation, emphasizing what an incredible individual they had the chance to hire.

What a remarkable journey Herman has had in the past 8 years. He went from being a stranger who expressed interest in volunteering for an organization in St. Louis, Missouri, through contact with a woman he had never met, to someone who now has the chance for a full-time technology job in America. Herman was hired as a three-month intern, with a high probability of a permanent position. Herman’s quest to obtain permanent residency is far from over, but getting a permanent job in the US would be a tremendous step forward. I’m confident that whatever Herman puts his mind to, he will get it done.

There are many other heartwarming stories I could share about Herman, like his budding love of photography or his passion to dance, but this post has already become quite lengthy. However, I would like to leave you with one important thought: perseverance and hard work can still lead to the realization of someone’s hopes and dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem. Herman’s journey is a testament to the fact that the American Dream is still very much alive. You just have to put your head down and go for it.

Herman, thanks for reminding us of that and congratulations. We can’t wait to see the next chapter unfold in your amazing journey!

This question has been bugging me for some time now, and I thought to myself, “Okay, I’ll write about it on my blog.” It’s interesting how a seemingly simple topic like using the auto feature of a car’s HVAC system can elicit such strong and varied opinions. It just goes to show that even the most seemingly straightforward decisions can have different perspectives and considerations even though I think there is nothing to debate at all.

Let me set the background. You get into your car in either the heat of the summer or the frigid cold of the winter and you want the temperature in the car to change as quickly as possible. What do you do? Here the arguments for the two sides of this heated and important issue. But first a little background information.

A Primer on a Car’s HVAC System and the Great Debate:

The auto feature on a car’s HVAC system is designed to automatically control the temperature, fan speed, and airflow based on the desired temperature set by the driver. Some argue that using the auto feature provides convenience and ensures a comfortable driving experience without the need for constant adjustment. On the other hand, some believe that manually adjusting the settings allows for more control and customization.

Auto Or Manual?

One possible reason for the divergent opinions could be personal preference and individual comfort levels. Some people may prefer a consistently controlled and automatic climate inside their car, while others may enjoy the flexibility of adjusting the temperature and airflow according to their immediate needs.

Additionally, the climate and weather conditions in different regions can also play a role in the decision. In extreme weather conditions, such as very hot or cold temperatures, it may be more beneficial to manually adjust the settings to quickly achieve the desired temperature.

Before I give you my “two cents” on the subject, let’s delve a little deeper into the positions of the two sides of the debate.

Pushing the Fan Button Manually:

While the auto feature of a car’s HVAC system offers convenience and benefits, some individuals may still prefer manual control for the following reasons:

1. Customization: Manual control allows individuals to have precise control over the temperature, fan speed, and airflow. They can adjust these settings based on their personal preferences and comfort levels, tailoring the HVAC system to their specific needs.
2. Instant Response: Manual control allows for immediate changes in the HVAC settings. Some individuals may prefer to have full control over the system and make quick adjustments as desired, without relying on the auto feature to gradually adapt to the changes. Why would the car company’s put a “low” setting or a “high” setting on the temperature gauge in the car if it didn’t give the driver the maximum output?
3. Sensory Feedback: Manual control allows individuals to feel the changes in temperature and airflow directly. Some people find this sensory feedback helpful in gauging the effectiveness of the HVAC system and making adjustments accordingly.
4. Personal Preference: Some individuals simply prefer the sense of control and involvement that comes with manually adjusting the HVAC settings. They may enjoy the process of finding the perfect temperature and fan speed combination that suits their preferences.

Ask the Experts:

I know nothing about cars so I began to see if I could search on line for some expert opinions.

I found this article on a web site called “Broken Secrets” written by a cat who rebuilds cars for a living. He explains that putting the fan on high to heat up the car slows the heating process down rather than just leaving the thermostat on “Auto”. If you want more information go ahead and open the link below.

Warm Your Car Up Faster

Ok so is the answer different when it comes to cooling off the car on a hot summer day? The answer is “yes”, maybe a little. The higher fan speed might get the car a little cooler faster but the “Auto” feature should do the job for you in a timely fashion.

Consumer Reports composed a you tube video on the subject and here is the link:

Finally, I shared a link to a very comprehensive article on the subject. Who would have thought there would be so much written on such a trivial matter? I can understand if there were numerous articles on how to solve world hunger or create world peace, but AC settings in a car? It just shows that some people might have too much time on their hands.

https://storables.com/articles/what-does-auto-mean-on-ac/

My Two Cents: Use the Automatic Thermostat Feature on Your Car and Set it and Forget it:

It has never made sense to me to ever change the fan speed in my car manually. Why would the car companies offer the auto feature if pushing the fan speed button manually is more effective? There are some reasons, but I believe they are rather lame, for not using the “auto” feature in the car. Therefore, I am going to remain an “auto” guy.

Vanilla or Chocolate?

Now that I have shed some light on this very important debate topic, I can now spend my time on more important issues, like determining which flavor of ice cream is the best: vanilla or chocolate. I can delve into that “hot topic” another time!

Thanks for reading!

I’m going to give a lot of disclaimers before I write this post so you can understand where I’m coming from.

Here is the list:

1. I am not a political person.

2. The religious aspects of being Jewish has never been important to me.

3. I like the cultural side of Judaism but that is as far as it goes.

4. I have skipped going to high holiday services to play hockey with my friends.

5. I have never thought of myself as a minority,

6. I have always thought of myself being an American more than being Jewish.

I can’t believe I’m writing a post about the rise of anti-Semitism in the United States. The tipping point for me occurred two days ago when emails were sent to three synagogues in St. Louis, threatening to blow them up. This happened in the neighborhood where I grew up – a nondescript middle-class Midwestern area of St. Louis where being Jewish was never a factor.

Growing up in a city like St. Louis, being Jewish was not a big deal. I was just another kid, no different from anyone else in my class. Yes, I did go to Sunday school, but my non-Jewish friends didn’t think anything of it. We were simply American kids growing up together. Religious differences were never discussed because they simply weren’t important. While this may not be true in other parts of the country, in St. Louis, Jewish people assimilated seamlessly into society. I can’t recall a single instance during my upbringing where I or anyone I knew experienced any anti-Semitic remarks. It simply didn’t happen.

So what’s changed?

Nothing really except that time marches on and history tends to repeats itself. Let me explain…..

One aspect of human history that I wholeheartedly believe in is the repetition of events. Unfortunately, our lifespan of around a century is not long enough to fully learn from or remember lessons of the past. The past remains a distant memory that seemingly has no impact on our present lives. However, as I mentioned earlier, history does tend to repeat itself, and there may come a time when being Jewish is once again viewed negatively.

Throughout human history, the “majority” has consistently persecuted the minority due to their differences. People often believe in their own superiority over others. From the Greeks, Vikings, Romans, Crusaders, Chinese, Turks, Russians, British, Germans, Japanese, to the Americans, all have targeted minorities in order to further the interests of the prevailing majority in power. Minorities have always been convenient scapegoats.

Jewish people have been repeatedly targeted throughout history, although not in my lifetime. It has been almost 100 years since the Holocaust, and most of the survivors have passed away. While my children are aware of it, they view it as a distant event that did not directly impact them, as they rarely consider being Jewish as something different.

With all the recent upheaval in the world, it’s astonishing how much things have changed. I won’t assign blame for these changes as that is beyond my expertise, but I can attest to their dramatic nature. For the first time in my life, I feel like a minority, where my religious beliefs single me out. I never thought in a million years that I would be saying this in my lifetime. Unfortunately, I fear that the rise of antisemitism will worsen before it improves.

I’m not one of those “doomsayers” who believe that the Holocaust could happen again. It’s not that extreme, nowhere near that extreme. However, I do wonder how it will impact the next generation of Jewish people in America. Will they face job discrimination because of their Jewish identity? Will they be denied admission to certain schools because they are Jewish? I sincerely hope not. As of now, I don’t think that’s the case, but the current trend is certainly concerning.

My kids and grandkids will be growing up in a world that is quite different from the one I am familiar with. The term “antisemitism” wasn’t even part of my vocabulary. I don’t have any solutions or profound thoughts on how to address this situation. However, these are the facts that I encounter on a daily basis. Life is already challenging, and the thought of additional obstacles for my kids and especially my grandkids fills me with apprehension. I believe they will be okay because they are growing up in a somewhat sheltered environment that shields them from most of it. Nonetheless, it doesn’t change the fact that they may still face discrimination because of their Jewish identity, and that makes me sad.

One of my favorite things about living in St. Louis is that there are four distinct seasons. There is no question though that Spring and Summer are at the top of my list. As the weather warms up and I get to sweat while working in my yard a bunch of sensory triggers are set off that remind me of my youth. They allow me to remember how much fun I had riding my bike, playing Indian ball with kids in my neighborhood, and helping my dad cut the grass. As the temperature rises so do those memories which become so vivid I can almost taste them.

The first sensory trigger that comes to mind is the smell of a freshly cut lawn. Recently cut grass has a sweet aroma that is undeniable. It will fill your nose with a fleeting scent that dissipates as it dries in the warm air.

Then there is the smell and the feeling in your bones of an upcoming rainstorm. There is such a heaviness in the air as the rain approaches from the west. You can smell the air as it is about to be washed with millions of droplets that are about to descend from the heavens. It’s such a wonderful and simple thing that some people unfortunately take for granted. The next time when it’s about to rain on a warm summer day take walk outside and smell the air. It’s so calming to the soul.

However, there is one special thing while working outside in the hot sun that is an unforgettable experience which makes me feel like a little boy again, drinking from a garden hose. Why is this so memorable you may ask? Good question. Here’s my thoughts on the matter.

The Special Qualities of Drinking Out of a Garden Hose:

That water is so darn cold!

I don’t know why it is that way but if you let the hose run for a couple of minutes before taking a drink, the water comes that comes out is so cold! It quenches your thirst like no other beverage. It’s so good!

What a unique taste!

Even though I’m so appreciative that the water is so cold it is not the reason that drinking out of a garden hose is so special to me. No, it’s the taste.

The taste of the water is unique because it is not being delivered out of a can, or a bottle, or a glass rather through a tube made of rubber. When else in your life do you drink out of a rubber tube? Never…. The taste is just different and so memorable. It just has that rubbery after taste that is impossible to describe unless you’ve experienced it yourself. I could close my eyes and take a drink from a glass filled with water taken from a hose and I’d identify it every time. I bet some of you have never taken a drink out of a hose. Wow are you missing out. Try it sometime and taste the odd but special flavor that is unmistakable.

I love having things remind me of my past. I really don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s because I have so many fond memories when I was a kid. Life was a lot simpler back then and I love to relive those moments. Drinking out of a garden hose always takes me back to those wonderful times that were so special.

Going to a therapist can be a tricky experience. There are so many variables that can make or break the relationship. Besides the obvious things like the age, or sex of the person who you are about to divulge your inner most secrets, more importantly there has to be a means to the end. In other words, what is your purpose in going to see a therapist? I believe just to go to talk to someone about your problems is kinda lame. Ask yourself before you start, how will this time talking to someone improve my life?

In 2007 I was on the top of the world. My career was flourishing. I was making more money than I ever had before and my wife and my kids were all doing great. I felt invincible.

Then beginning in 2008 things began to change in a hurry. A series of cataclysmic events in our country began a death spiral of economies around the world. My career as well as my self worth came tumbling down in a very short period of time. I remember that there were times during the day when I was not able to catch my breath. I thought maybe I was having a heart attack. I went to my doctor and after going through a series of tests he told me that my issues weren’t physical, they were mental. I was having panic attacks. He prescribed an anti-depressant called Zoloft that made me feel like a zombie so I had to find another solution. My wife found the solution with a therapist named Victor.

I had never been to a therapist before because I never thought I needed one. I always felt it showed weakness. Boy was I wrong. From 2008 to 2018 I met with Victor in his small cozy office. The lighting was always dim and I would sink into the worn big leather couch and Victor would sit in a weathered upholstered chair right in front of me. We came from completely different backgrounds but it didn’t matter. After I told him about my situation he laid out a game plan starting with meditation and then it moved on to various mental exercises that taught me be to be more present and appreciate my current situation no matter how dyer I thought it to be. His tone was sometimes authoritative but always resolute and compassionate. Almost every time we were finished I felt he gave me something to work on to improve my life. He understood the demons in my head and gave me a roadmap to find more inner peace.

Fast forward to today. It’s been 5 months since my best friend passed away and I have been struggling to get my life back on the “rails”. I knew Victor had retired but I thought it couldn’t hurt to reach out to him again and see if he would meet with me. He said, “Of course”. We talked for 90 minutes and even though we hadn’t seen each other for 5 years we just picked up from where we left off. He explained how to use my friend’s energy that I still felt as a guiding light in a positive way. He gave me a map to feel better and he explained to me why it had been so hard. We agreed to get together monthly for a while until I felt there wasn’t a need. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of talking to Victor from now on.

Wow what a long blog. I’m sorry it was so long. The reason I wrote this in the first place was not to go into so much detail about my journey but rather to help people understand how to choose a therapist. If you are talking with someone now and they aren’t giving you tangible things to make you feel better dump them. They should construct a purposeful path for you to try find inner peace. If you find that person hold on to them because they are worth their weight in gold. Thank you Victor.